Summary: This needs to happen in canon eventually.
A/N: Sorry I haven't been writing in, like, forever...
You almost kissed him, didn't you? In Piffle, when he bandaged your hand, the intense and preoccupied way he unrolled the cloth, that tiny crease between his eyebrows, you almost kissed him just for that. For the way his forehead crinkled when he bandaged your barely-hurt hand, you wanted to give everything up. You wanted to kiss him so badly you clenched your other fist against the seat to stop yourself.
And again, in Outo, when he was cooking. You wanted to kiss him then. You saw the way he brushed his hair back, leaving streaks of flour behind. You saw the way he concentrated on it all, mixing the batter and melting the chocolate, and dear God you wanted to press him against the counter and kiss him hard enough to steal his breath away. You wanted to do it, and you stopped yourself, and it hurt.
In Koryo, where the sorceress tried to kill you all, when you thought that maybe this was it, he laughed and said, yeah, maybe. You wanted to kiss him then, not for the bravado and not for winning the fight but for the pain behind his eyes when the sorceress kissed you. You saw him hurting, and oh, you wanted so badly to kiss him, but you had to move on, you had to save the Princess, and so you stopped yourself.
In the world with the library, he used his magic for the first time, and the way he looked, lips parted in a whistle, almost dancing, it made you want him like you'd never wanted anything. It made you want to kiss him and it made you want to tell him that he was yours. (You'll never tell anyone that you saw yourself in that world, never admit to being jealous of the you-that-wasn't-you who was sitting in the library, a book in one hand, Fai-who-wasn't-Fai curled up next to him with an oversized tome. It's not the peace you envy, it's the proximity.)
In Acid Tokyo, when he was unconscious and trembling beneath your hands, when his fingers dug into the blankets and his back arched and he screamed in some cruel parody of sex, you wanted to kiss him then. You wanted to make things better. And you almost did. You stopped yourself, because it felt like cheating, and when he woke up and said, "Good morning, Kurogane," and turned his face to the wall, you wished you had.
In Infinity, you wanted to, and you hit him instead. And in Celes, all you wanted to do was hold him, but there was no time. In Nihon, you wanted to kiss him when he said, "Now we're even." You wanted to kiss him, off-balance and tired as you were.
But you didn't.
You didn't, because he kissed you first.